Tag Archives: exectations

Accessing creativity in the now

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My Mum used to say, ‘If I can just get myself right, I’ll be OK,’ and I hear myself echoing her words sometimes. Humans are obsessed with needing to be fully healed (whatever this even means) … a constant need to improve and be fixed. An obsession with, ‘Something is wrong with me, and I must heal it now, and forevermore.’ Ummm…there is no ultimate utopian, fully healed land of perfection and harmony, with no conflict – It.Does.Not.Exist.

Rather than the need to be fully fixed, can we just try to be fully here? Which is the authentic antidote for healing and wellness. Healing means being OK with ourselves wherever and whatever we are, in each moment. Not blaming, shaming or guilting ourselves.

Healing doesn’t mean the absence of pain or discomfort or difficulty or moments of confusion or doubt. Or ignoring our feelings or lying about them to ourselves, or slathering them in some kind of spiritual mumbo jumbo weirdness. It does not mean forgetting, not being triggered, or all is perfectly comfortable all the time. Trying to deny the discomfort of dark and murky spots in life will get us a one-way ticket to misery, confusion, and constant exhaustion. Welcome every emotion as an old friend. Creativity happens in the moment of acceptance. Not in shame or blame. Pure kindness to self, creates unlimited creativity.

It means being OK with yourself wherever and whatever you are in each moment. Not needing to change it, willing to face it, and feel it. Healing does not mean instant forgiveness, or clarity or even feeling better. It is the willingness to wade through the mud, no expectations, the only goal being … presence to it all. Not turning our back on any part of ourselves … that is our healing.

Launch of my 35th book, Charlie’s War

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I was thrilled to launch my latest book, Charlie’s War at the Queensland State Library last night, here is what I had to say:

I’d like to talk about breadcrumbs… All of us have been handed little breadcrumbs as stories from our families, or ancestors, at some point in our lives. Small fragments of information, or sometimes large pieces of a puzzle.

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Gratitude

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I walk in gratitude every day. By that I mean I am thankful for everything I have, do, create and experience. I don’t wait for greatness to happen before I’m grateful, I’m happy for the smallest things: sunshine, my morning chai, the way my legs move when I get out of bed, my family, hot water. You can see where I’m going with this.

Making the effort to frequently experience gratitude balances out negativity and cultivates awareness of what we want in our lives, not focusing on what we don’t want. I’m not saying that we should ignore problems or be superficial about the challenges of life, but our spirit is enriched by feelings of gratitude, and good memories are formed by focusing on what’s working and what we are grateful for.

Gratitude is an instant mood booster. When we consciously shift our attention to what’s thriving in our lives, our need for safety, satisfaction and connection is met. Activating gratitude tones down the alarm system of the brain (the amygdala) and reduces the stress response. Practising gratitude reduces levels of cortisol and adrenaline in the body and releases dopamine, the natural feel-good chemical in the brain, which supports more focused attention.

  • Slow everything down by walking in gratitude; appreciate your surroundings.
  • Soften towards your family, friends and colleagues.
  • Thank others for the smallest kindness.
  • Forgive yourself, be gentle on yourself.
  • Give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t take things personally.
  • Actively notice new things to feel grateful about.
  • Show compassion to self and others.